A conversation between my husband and I last night somehow reminded me of my constant grasping. Though my Zen teacher Michael has pointed this out many times, and though my ego keeps thinking it has it all figured out, it's still there........a nagging sense of lack.
Perhaps all I need is more time spent in meditation. That seems to be the answer to every lingering 'problem'. Sit with it. Look at it. Feel it. Really be present in your life, without flinching. Trouble is, I love trying to figure things out. I thrive on dissecting and analyzing, altering and improving. It's what makes me good at all the things I'm good at. It's also what gets me into the most trouble. It's too bad that writing is not one of the things I'm good at.
So, this blog will be for me. Open to the public to be read, commented on, dissed. But ultimately, just for me. I haven't written in a journal in a long time, and now is the perfect time to begin again. I'm in a completely new place in my life, with things constantly changing and what seems to be 'my whole life ahead of me'.
Here goes nothin'.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I love you erwin, go for it
ReplyDelete